its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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