just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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