I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize