it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize