it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
