You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
