I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
