Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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