i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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