My first STD was from a foam party
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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