Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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