Your dad touched me again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
