so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
