Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
