You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize