When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
