Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
