oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
