Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
They have beer where we have blood.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
