No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
