D3 body, D1 cock
Where did you get a picture of my penis
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
