I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
