You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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