i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
