We should be called the Road Head Warriors
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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