I am in a vortex of obligation.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize