I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
