i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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