Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
