Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
