I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
