Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
