I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
