I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
