I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
