she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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