Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
