its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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