No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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