Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
