Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
