I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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