U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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