Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
