my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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