the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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