When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
