Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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