Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
