I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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