i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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