Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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