I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
