Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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