There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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