no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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