Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
