I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
