her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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