im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
