Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize