The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
