Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
