i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
