She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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