Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
