Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
