Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
