Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
